Bureaucracy by Douglas Adams and the Staff of Infocom Interactive Fiction Plus Instruction Manual & "Feelies" [The front cover is of a bank teller's window. It contains the traditional bars that separate the employees from the public, but each bar is square in shape and gleams with a golden shine. The bars are either highly-polished brass, or perhaps they really are surface-plated with gold. On either side of the window are two different columns carved from stone. The inner columns were cut from a stone that is orange in color with a few sections of pale green. The outer columns appear to have been cut from a granite-like stone, and have flourishes at the top of the column that resemble waves cresting near the shore. More of the orange stone and the granite-like stone form an arch over the top of the teller's window. The word "BUREAUCRACY" has been carved into the granite portion and each letter is painted white. The paneling above and on either side of the window contains more of the same orange stone, framed with the same granite. The overall impression is that of opulence; the bank obviously spent a lot of money on the interior of the building. The other impression we get is that we are in a very large room. The gap in the bars where the teller would hand us things is at our eye level, and we are looking upwards a bit, so that the picture appears to slant away from us at the top. A sign hangs from a peg in one of the bars: "Please use next windows", with an arrow pointing to our right.] --------- Deposited in every BUREAUCRACY package: your BUREAUCRACY disk; an official letter from your boss; a credit card application form (in triplicate); a skinny pencil; a charter membership flyer for Popular Paranoia Magazine; and a helpful brochure from your bank. [The picture shows a different teller's window that what is shown on the front cover. The teller's right hand holds the Bureaucracy disk and the yellow copy of the application form, and points to part of the form with the skinny pencil in his left hand. Resting on the counter underneath is the Happitech letter, the Popular Paranoia flyer, and the game package, which is open to the "You're ready to move!" page.] IMPORTANT! Our records show that you do not have a license to operate this software. Normally, you would be required to complete a License Application Form and mail it (with proof of purchase) to our Licensing Department, and then wait the customary four to six months for processing. Luckily, for your convenience, we have, at the last minute and at great expense, installed a remarkable new on-line electronic application form on this very disk, which will be processed by our modern 24-hour computer service moments after you fill it in. BUREAUCRACY! Everyone, at one time or another, feels bound up in an endless swathe of red tape. In Bureaucracy, best-selling humorist Douglas Adams draws on his own battles with beadledom to create a hilarious misadventure. You'll find yourself in the midst of a bureaucratic muddle so convoluted that you can't help but laugh. You've just landed a great new job and moved to a spiffy house in a nice little town. You're even being sent to Paris this very afternoon for a combination training seminar and vacation. What could possibly go wrong? The answer, of course, is everything. When the bank refuses to acknowledge your change-of-address form, you'll find yourself entangled in a series of bureaucratic mishaps that take you from the feeding trough of a greedy llama to the lofty branches of a tree deep in the Zalagasan jungle. The distinctive humor that made The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy a runaway success will keep you in stitches as you confront a series of bureaucratic puzzles and experience the thrill of outsmarting the powers that be. GET INSIDE A STORY. GET ONE FROM INFOCOM! It's like waking up inside a story! Infocom's interactive fiction takes you to the center of a world jam-packed with surprising twists, unique characters, and original, logical, often hilarious puzzles. For the first time, you're more than a passive reader. You can talk to the story, typing in full English sentences. And the story talks right back, communicating entirely in vividly descriptive prose. What's more, you can actually shape the story's course of events through your choice of actions. With hundreds of alternatives at every step, your adventure can last for weeks and even months. Find out what it's like to get inside a story. Get one from Infocom. Because with Infocom's interactive fiction, there's room for you on every disk. INFOCOM 125 CambridgePark Drive., Cambridge, MA 02140 Infocom interactive fiction is available for most personal computers. Call us at 617-576-3190 for availability information. Manufactured and printed in USA (c) 1987 Infocom, Inc. Warranty Information enclosed. BUREAUCRACY and Interactive Fiction Plus are trademarks of Infocom, Inc. G-IC2-02 --------- FILLMORE FIDUCIARY TRUST, EST. 1907 [Fillmore Fiduciary Trust uses a woodcarving-style picture of U.S. President Millard Fillmore as their logo] Dear Bank Customer, As a valued credit cardholder and customer here at Fillmore Fiduciary Trust, you are well aware of the advantages and convenience offered by your Beezer card. Now that you're moving to a new home, we invite you to move up to a card that offers even more. A card that is recognized in every major city in the world, where it immediately marks you as a person of distinction. I'm speaking, of course, of the Fillmore Better Beezer card. Before we go any further, I should mention that this invitation is not extended to most people -- only to those special few who are successful, confident, and deserving of extra courtesy and personal attention. People like you. Just think of all the occasions you'll find to use your Fillmore Better Beezer card as you settle into your new community. It will make an eloquent impression each time you present it to settle a bill. And the $10,000 credit limit will provide you with the financial flexibility you need -- a flexibility that Fillmore Fiduciary Trust is proud to provide. To accept this offer, simply complete and sign the enclosed application form. Please use only the pencil provided and bear down hard as you will be making three copies. Do not separate the copies. You can trust Fillmore Fiduciary Trust. When you have completed the form, deliver it to the branch office where you originally acquired your Fillmore Beezer card. To better serve you, we do not accept applications through the mail. There is no need to include the $150 annual fee with your application, since it will appear on your first Fillmore Better Beezer card statement. We thank you for your continued association with Fillmore Fiduciary Trust and look forward to serving you in your new community. Yours truly, "Mitch" Mitchell O'Connor Vice President for Financial Services --------- TAKE THEIR WORDS FOR IT! "Because of customs in Canada, it took 56 days to receive your software." John, age 35 St. Johns, Newfoundland, Canada "The story and map included in the package do not seem to relate to the game at all." Jim, age 33 Gardenia, California "Could not copy with ProDos Utilities supplied by Apple with computer. Had to dig up an old DOS 3.3 from dealer (who is a moron)." Gina, age 31 Lemay, Missouri "It would be better if my print description could be 'RS232/2.BA=4800.DA=8' since resetting DIP switches and switching cables for the only program in my collection not defaulting to the correct parameters discourages using the script command." Erwin, age 27 Cary, North Carolina "It was hard to open." Willy, age 25 Lexington, Kentucky "This is the 5th time I've filled in a registration card and I still haven't received The Status Line. Don't care once you have the money, eh?" John, age 24 Merritt Island, Florida "Our program package is missing the instructions from inside the front cover. Please send replacement before family becomes violent." Dale, age 48 Downsview, Ontario, Canada "Finally, an Infocom game that doesn't make any sense." Liz, age 26 Beverly, Massachusetts --------- YOU ARE READY TO MOVE! [Picture of a clearly over-exaggerated cute and sweet suburban family from the 1960's -- beautiful wife with wavy blond hair reaching her shoulders, her good looking husband with short black hair, both with cliché movie smiles. Around them are their two kids: a daughter of about 10 years, holding a little doll and a son of around 12, 13 years old. Of course there is also a small dog that is too sweet to be bearable. The whole picture is oozing with sugar. The family is obviously moving, because there are crates everywhere, one of them is labeled "Fragile". The boy is packing his baseball bat in one the crates, while his younger sister is watching him with adoration. The picture is filled with feeling of family happiness and the expectation of moving and living somewhere else.] FILLMORE FIDUCIARY TRUST, EST. 1907 And WE'RE ready to move with you! [The wife and husband, both shining with happiness and again with cliché movie smiles, are shown obviously talking about some piece of paper they are holding. The picture is subtitled with: "Let's not forget the CHANGE OF ADDRESS form, dear."] One of the nice things about moving is the new friends you'll make. But there's one old friend you can bring along with you--Fillmore Fiduciary Trust! We have offices nationwide, waiting to serve you in your new town. When you fill out a Fillmore Fiduciary Trust change-of-address form, your account will au­tomatically be transferred to the branch office nearest you! Moving is easy when you plan ahead. Just follow these simple steps. First, contact Mazzotta National Van Lines and Rent-a-Truck well ahead of time, so that a van can be reserved in your name. Second, buy plenty of boxes and packing tape so you don't run out. Third, file your change-of-address forms six to eight weeks before you move to ensure that all mail will be properly forwarded. Children have feelings too. Sometimes children feel left out during a move. Their parents are too busy packing and making arrangements to pay attention to a child's fears and apprehensions, so the little tiny worries grow bigger and bigger until they turn into enormous horrible monsters hiding in the closet just waiting to jump out and gobble you up! The solution is to involve your children in every aspect of your move. Filling out and filing your Fillmore Fiduciary Trust change-of-address form can be a fun activity for the whole family. Your friendly bank teller is waiting for you! Plan a day for your family to visit the bank. Your children will find it an exciting educational experience as you proudly show them the many financial services available. While you're there, why not open a savings account for each child! The minimum opening balance for a Fillmore Fiduciary Trust Regular Savings Account is only $10 and your children will thrill to the excitement of sound money management as our generous 5% interest adds pennies, nickels, and dimes to their accounts. Don't forget to visit the Change of Address window, where the teller will cheerfully hand you a change-of-address form. [Another picture that is cute to the point of being sick -- four big smiles connected to the bodies of our four family members. They are in the bank and the little girl with long pony tails is still holding a little doll and is handing some paper to a bank teller behind counter bars who also has a biiiiig friendly smile. Proud parents are standing behind the kids, watching them with obvious happiness. Picture is subtitled with: "Gee whiz, Dad, this is a BIG BANK!"] We make it easy! It's a breeze to change your address with the Fillmore Fiduciary Trust change-of-address forms. Choose between Short Form 624Z87M-A and Long Form 624Z87M. Then set aside an evening to gather round the kitchen table and show your kids how rewarding it is to take care of business. [The wife and her husband are close to each other, but looking at us. They are again all happy with cliché movie smiles. They are standing next to the door through which we see a moving van and furniture around it. A man is bringing something that looks like a lamp into the house. Of course, his face is beaming with a big friendly smile. This picture is subtitled: "We delivered the CHANGE-OF-ADDRESS FORM just in time!"] Countdown to moving day. As the Big Day draws nearer, a few tips will come in handy. Be sure to wash and iron all curtains and wall hangings before packing. Fold them neatly into boxes and they'll be all ready to hang when you arrive at your new home. Wrap all china and glassware in newspaper. They'll travel safe and secure in the special china cartons provided by your mover. Put essentials (toothbrushes, changes of clothes, children's favorite toys) in a special box which will be the last thing into the truck and first thing out of it. Everything you'll need right away will be at your fingertips! Moving day is here! It's hard to believe that all those weeks of planning and packing have already flown by! Now your Mazzotta moving crew is waiting outside your house, ready to transport your belongings with courtesy and efficiency. As you set forth on your adventure, you'll be glad for the peace of mind you've brought yourself by filing a Fillmore Fiduciary Trust change-of-address form. Welcome to your new home! As you settle into your new house, hanging your curtains and unpacking your china, one thing you won't have to worry about is your finances. Your bank statements and correspondence will arrive on time, at your new address, and your new Fillmore Fiduciary Trust branch office will be ready to meet your banking needs. We'll even arrange a loan for all those extra moving expenses. You can count on Fillmore Fiduciary Trust! [The wife receives some paper from a postman with big fake smile. Oddly, the wife's cliché movie smile is gone. Subtitles: "Here's your BANK STATEMENT, Ma'am."] FILLMORE FIDUCIARY TRUST, EST. 1907 Consider us your friend... We make it EASY for YOU! --------- FILLMORE FIDUCIARY TRUST CHANGE-OF-ADDRESS FORM 624Z87M (624Z87M-A) INSTRUCTIONS A SPECIAL MESSAGE TO OUR CUSTOMERS Forms 624Z87M and 624Z87M-A have been completely revised to make it even easier for you to change your address. The instructions have been rewritten in simple English and a handy chart has been added to help you decide which form to use. You'll find a number of helpful new features, including a simple question-and-answer format, illustrative examples of more complicated questions, sample worksheet space, color-coded step-by-step forms, and larger type. We're sure these alterations will make it quicker and easier than ever for you to change your address. You may file a change-of-address form whenever you change your primary residence, with certain qualifications (explained later). Just follow these simple steps: FIRST, COMPLETE FORM 624Z87M (624Z87M-A). Be sure to study the instructions for each item and to follow directions carefully. If you received these instructions and forms by mail at your former address, please peel off the name-and-address label on the back cover and affix it in the FORMER NAME AND ADDRESS area on the form you file. Using the label will speed processing of your change-of-address form. If the label is incorrect, do not use it. Print the correct former name and address in the space provided. THEN DELIVER YOUR FORM TO THE BANK. Fillmore Fiduciary Trust has hundreds of offices nationwide, ready to serve you and your banking needs. Drop your form off at any one of our handy locations. We regret that we are unable to accept forms sent through the mail. WE MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU! You may be eligible to use E-Z-Form 624Z87M-B if you are moving to Zalagasa to start a new job. You must meet certain tests of time and distance. Please contact your Customer Service Representative for details. MISTAKES DELAY YOUR BANK CORRESPONDENCE AND INCREASE SERVICE CHARGES. Only YOU can prevent mistakes. Please fill out your form carefully, using a #2 pencil. Seek assistance if necessary. Be sure to: 1. Complete all items. 2. Check all facts. 3. Sign where indicated. If married, both must sign. Children over age 12 must file separate forms. 4. Use only blue ultra fine felt-tip pen. 5. Never fold, staple, bend, or mutilate this, or any other, form. L.M. Mazzotta Chairman, Fillmore Fiduciary Trust, Inc. --------- WHICH CHANGE OF ADDRESS FORM SHOULD YOU FILE? Follow the arrows to find out whether you must file Long Form 624Z87M or Short Form 624Z87M-A. By answering "yes" or "no" to each question in turn, you will easily be led to the final answer. 1. Is your new home in the U.S.? No = Go to question 1. Yes = Continue 2. Are you moving within 10 miles of your old home? No = Go to question 9. Yes = Continue 3. Are you renting or buying your new home? Rent = You must file Long Form 624Z87M Buy = Continue 4. Did you obtain your mortgage through Fillmore Fiduciary Trust? No = Go to question 6. Yes = Go to question 5. 5. Was your morgage over $100,000? No = You must file Long Form 624Z87M Yes = Go to question 6. 6. Do you plan to obtain a second mortgage through Fillmore Fiduciary Trust? No = You must file Long Form 624Z87M Yes = Continue 7. Are you relocating as a result of an atomic war or other nuclear disaster? No = You must file Long Form 624Z87M Yes = You must file Short Form 624Z87M-A 8. Did you eat breakfast this morning? No = Go to question 8. Yes = Go to question 8. 9. Is the difference between your new zip code and your old zip code odd or even? Odd = You must file Long Form 624Z87M Even = Continue 10. How many times have you moved within the past year? A lot = You must file Short Form 624Z87M-A Some = Continue 11. Have you made a bank deposit within the last 5 days? No = You must file Long Form 624Z87M Yes = Continue 12. Have you made a bank withdrawal within the last 5 days? Yes = You must file Long Form 624Z87M No = Continue 13. Do you own a luxury car, a vacation home, a VCR, or a wide-screen TV; and, if so, are you willing to donate any or all of these properties to the President of Fillmore Fiduciary Trust? No = You must file Long Form 624Z87M Yes = Continue 14. Are you moving in with your in-laws? No = You must file Long Form 624Z87M Yes = You must file Short Form 624Z87M-A (end of form) --------- FORM 624Z87M-A GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS Who Must File? 1. Every Fillmore Fiduciary Trust customer who moves to a new home must file a change-of-address form. Customer means: * anyone who has ever completed a banking transaction with Fillmore Fiduciary Trust. Banking transactions include: * maintaining savings, checking, IRA, and Money Market accounts. * applying for loans or jobs. * dating bank personnel. * purchasing money orders, traveller's checks, or bus passes. * cashing in rolls of coins (other than Kennedy half dollars). * using Automatic Teller Machines or late night depositories. * working as a security guard. To determine other qualifying banking transactions, ask your Customer Service Representative for Pamphlet 21, "Banking Transactions: What Are They?" 2. Regardless of bank affiliation, you must file a Fillmore Fiduciary Trust change-of-address form if you are moving to Delaware and/or your last name is "Mazzotta." Which Form Should I File? You MAY be able to use Short Form 624Z87M-A if: * You spent more than $1300 on lottery tickets during the twelve months immediately preceding the filing of the form, OR * Your daily breakfast menu meets nutritional requirements established by the Food and Drug Administration, OR * You meet other qualifications as outlined in Pamphlet 831, "To Make a Long Story Short." Since Short Form 624Z87M-A is easier to complete than Long Form 624Z87M, you should use it if you can. However, even if you meet the above tests, you may still have to file Long Form 624Z87M. The chart on page 5 will help you determine which form to file. The following instructions are for Short Form 624Z87M-A. To obtain instructions for Long Form 624Z87M, send $19.95 to your Customer Service Representative for Publication 163, Volumes I through III, "General Instructions for Filing Fillmore Fiduciary Trust Form 624Z87M." When Should I File? You must file your change-of-address form at least two months, but no sooner than six weeks, before your moving date. Please ask your Customer Service Representative for Pamphlet 96, 'Penalties and Interest on Forwarding Expenses Due to Late Filing of Change-of-Address Form.' Is There Anything Else I Should Know? What if a customer dies before filing a change-of-address form? In this case, the customer's spouse or personal representative must file the form to ensure that any remaining bank business is properly settled and delivered to the appropriate parties. If your spouse died within the past year and you did not remarry during that period, you may file a joint change-of-address form. Please write "Filing as Surviving Spouse" in the 'Signature of Spouse' section of the form. Show the date of death in the 'Name of Spouse' space and attach a notarized copy of the death certificate. For further details, request Pamphlet 974, "Banking Protocol for Survivors, Executors, and Morticians." --------- LINE-BY-LINE INSTRUCTIONS Vital Information Line 1--Write your full name here. Do not use nicknames or abbreviations. Our modern computerized name and address file will only accept names that have less than 8 letters and are not names of months. Example--June Roosevelt lives in Ohio and has 6 children. Her total lottery expenditure for this year was $1,684. Since June's last name has 9 letters and her first name is the name of a month, she must write 'Juan Rooster' on Line 1. Line 2--Write your spouse's nickname here. Line 3--Write your old address here. Please include apartment or box number. The following street designations are acceptable: * Crescent * Boulevard * View * Terrace Example--Brenda Volpe is moving to Honeoye Falls, New York to assume a new position as a bank security guard. She drives a red Dodge Duster. Her former address was 622 Pelican Crescent. Brenda may write this address on Line 3. Line 4--No abbreviations may be used. You must include all 9 digits in your "zip + 4" code. Line 5--Write your old telephone number here, including area code. If you own a push-button phone, write your phone number in a 3 x 4 matrix. If you own a rotary phone, write your phone number in a circle. Line 6--Write your new name here. See Line 1. Line 7--Generally, you should include any spouse acquired during the past 12 months, except those listed on Line 2. You may NOT include: * Mail-order brides * Gifts to employees. * Contest or game show winnings, as defined in Pamphlet 469, "When a Game Show Date Becomes a Lifelong Mate." Example--Ken Dahl receives numerous mail-order catalogues, including one for mail-order brides. While Ken seriously considered acquiring a spouse in this manner, in June 1986 he married his childhood sweetheart, Barbie. Since Barbie is not a mail-order bride, he may enter her name on Line 7. Line 8--See Line 3. Line 9--Refer to Pamphlet 128, "Legislation Regulating Banking Practices in Townships Incorporated Within the Past Six Months." Line 10--Your new telephone number must be included to validate the change-of-address form. Signing the form authorizes Fillmore Fiduciary Trust to charge only those calls they deem necessary to your new phone number while arranging for the transfer of your bank account, and thereafter, at their discretion, for addressing your banking needs so long as said phone number is in operation. Personal Information Line 11--Please check the appropriate box. For assistance, please see Pamphlet 593, "Which Sex Am I?" Line 12--You may only check the "Firm" box if your new address is to be used solely as a place of business. Example--Lori Angler, a psychotherapist, has neither a prestigious Better Beezer Card nor a Fillmore Fiduciary Trust Cash-at-the-Ready Card. She uses a den in her home for group primal scream sessions. The den is also used for recreational purposes. Lori may not check the "Firm" box. Line 13--If you are not moving into one of the four types of dwellings listed in Line 13, you must file Long Form 624Z87M. Example--Tootsie and Larry Platinum are moving from the back room of a Seattle launderette to a chateau on the Hudson River. They just bought a VCR, but have never owned a wide-screen TV or a luxury car. Even though their former home was a launderette, they must file Long Form 624Z87M. Line 14--Please enclose fabric swatches with your completed form. Dates Line 15--Enter date of filing form here. For your convenience, our computer does not accept months with names that are commonly used as given names. Example--Willamena Steere eats nothing but a chocolate-covered donut every morning for breakfast. Her diet does not meet FDA minimum nutrition requirements. She is planning to move to Hershey, Pennsylvania on April 23, 1987. Willamena will have to postpone her move until July 1987, since April, May and June are all given names. For further specifications, see Pamphlet 482, "Is That a Baby or a Month?" Line 16--Enter moving date here. Date listed must be the actual date at which you move into your new home. Example--Rupert Swarm is married and has 3 children. He owned his home in Lobster, Maine, where he worked. His employer told him that on October 3, 1986, he would be transferred to Harborview, Maryland. His wife Stella flew to Harborview on September 9 to look for a house. She put a deposit on a houseboat that was still under construction. The family moved to Harborview on October 1, and stayed in a motel until the houseboat was finished on December 21. Rupert and Stella must enter "December 12, 1986" on line 17. Line 17--If you are moving to a temporary residence, after which you will return to your formal residence (see line 2), enter the date at which you will vacate the temporary residence. If you plan to be at the temporary residence longer than 2 months, or if you will subsequently move to any home other than your former residence, you must file Long Form 624Z87M. Line 18--The following worksheet may be used to determine the final sum. Step 1--Enter filing date here Step 2--Enter moving date here Step 3--Enter expiration date here Step 4--Add 1, 2, and 3 above Step 5--Enter date of birth here Step 6--Subtract 5 from 4 Step 7--Enter the smaller of 1 or 6 Write this amount on line 18. Other Line 19--For more information, see Publication 421, Volumes I through VIII, "Penalties for Failure to complete Line 19 on Fillmore Fiduciary Trust Change-of-Address Form 624Z87M-A." Line 20--Please check one. Example--Mary Brownell's great aunt left her a multimillion dollar trust fund. Mary should check the "Trust Fund" box. Line 21--Include costs of transportation. Signature of Individual Applicant Line 22--Use fountain pen with Permanent Blue-Black ink. Line 23--If moving in with in-laws, mother-in-law must sign here. We Are Happy To Answer Any Questions Your Fillmore Fiduciary Trust Customer Service Representative is frequently available Monday through Friday during normal banking hours, 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m., to answer your questions and provide you with any pamphlets and forms you might need. We regret that we are unable to accept phone calls. Fillmore Fiduciary Trust, Est. 1907 Consider us your friend... We make it EASY for YOU! --------- SAMPLE CHANGE-OF-ADDRESS FORM Form 624Z87M-A FILLMORE FIDUCIARY TRUST CHANGE-OF-ADDRESS FORM (For use by Fillmore Fiduciary Trust customers and others as explained in instructions. Please read instructions carefully before completing this form. Type or print clearly using black ballpoint pen.) Part I: Vital Information 1. Name: Millard Fillmore 2. Name of Spouse: Gwendolyn 3. Old Address: 1600 Pensylvania Ave. 4. City: Washington State: D.C. Zip: X O O O O 5. Old Telephone: (202) 555-5555 6. New Name: Lefty Mazzotta 7. New Spouse: Bubbles 8. New Address: 17237 Cresent Terrace 9. City: Rhinocerous State: N.J. Zip: O O O O X 10. New Telephone: (201) 555-5556 Part II: Personal Information 11. Are you: Male Female X Banker 12. Is change of address for: Individual Entire Family X Firm X Pet 13. Are you moving to: X Houseboat Fallout Shelter Commune Launderette 14. Do you wear: Pinstripe Suits Custom-made Shirts X Burberry Raincoat Wingtip Shoes Other (itemize): Rubber Boots Part III: Dates 15. Date filed (must be at least 8 weeks before moving date): July 4, 1987 16. Moving date (must be within 6 weeks of filing form): November 24, 1987 17. If temporary, expiration date (must be within 2 months): NONE 18. Total dates (add lines 15 through 17) 28,3974 Part IV: Other 19. I agree to pay any forwarding charges incurred by the bank. X yes 20. I authorize the deduction of charges from my: savings checking X paycheck trust fund piggy bank 21. Total dental expenses in past 12 months: $8,748 Part V: Signature of Individual Applicant 22. X (signature): Millard Fillmore 23. Signature of neighbor: Tootsie Platinum Please notarize this form and return it to your convenient Fillmore Fiduciary Trust branch office. Thank you! --------- Happitec "We'll bring a smile to your computer" Occupant 5 Hippo Vista Rhinocerous, New Jersey 81818 Dear New Employee, Welcome to Happitec Corporation! As you know, the Happitec motto is "We'll bring a smile to your computer." We aim to make people happy, and that includes our employees here at Happitec. You have already learned of the many benefits we offer you! In turn, we expect you to make us happy by being a dedicated, responsible employee. How do you make Happitec happy? No problem! We keep things rolling smoothly simply by following the rules and regulations set down by our founder and president, Leo J. Zereb. And to make sure you learn every one of these rules and regulations, we're sending you to a special training seminar at Happitec International Headquarters in Paris, France! That's right, you're going on a two-week, all-expenses-paid trip to Paris, courtesy of Happitec. You'll enjoy a six-day training seminar with experienced Happitec staff members. Then you'll thrill to a full week of fun in the City of Lights! And that's not all! You'll also get $75 spending money! Does that put a great big Happitec smile on your face, new employee? The $75 money order is in the mail to your new home. To obtain your airline ticket, simply take this letter to your travel agency. Then you're on your way to Paris! Be sure to be on time for your flight. We've found that new employees who miss the training seminar usually aren't very happy at Happitec. See you at the office! Happily yours, Ollie Fassbaum Manager The Happitec Corporation The Happitec Corporation, Major Offices Around The Globe [The Happitec logo at the top of the screen is a rather crude design that was obviously done on a computer. Inside a very basic drawing of a computer monitor is a happy face. They eyes are almost heart-shaped, but were made with square blocks. The line that represents the smiling mouth has a jagged appearance because it uses straight segments and makes 90-degree turns.] --------- G-IC2-FIT FILLMORE BETTER BEEZER CARD Application -- white top copy Answer questions 1-20 using the #2 pencil provided. Do NOT write in the shaded areas. Answer questions 1-16 only. PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF (type or use black ink only) 1. Last Name: 2. First Name: 3. Date of birth (day/year/month): 5. Age (in months): 6. Present ZIP Code: 7. Present Address (number, street, city, state): 8. Previous address: 9. Number of children (including spouse): PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR WORK AND FINANCES (use a #4 pencil only) 1O. Employer's Name: 11. Years at current job: 13. Primary annual income: Explain: 14. Bank Name: 14A. Account Number: 14B. Type of account(s): Checking Savings Other 15. Check one: Own home Rent Own condo/co-op Other 16. Assets (check all you own, except as checked in question 15): Auto (see question 6) Stereo Major appliances Home VCR TV (Circle one: Color/Black-and-white) 17. Second co-mortgagee of subscriber's trustee (including first part: use other side if necessary): If none, give alternate and explain: PLEASE SIGN THIS AUTHORIZATION. By signing below I hereby authorize Beezer International to check my credit history and permanent record. If I am issued a second Beezer card I authorize Beezer International to exchange information about my account with credit bureaus and institutions doing business in North America, Europe, Asia, South America, Australia, Africa, Antarctica, Guam, or elsewhere, or with any person or persons that Beezer International may so choose, from time to time, without recourse. By signing below, I hereby absolve Beezer International of any misrepresentations of fact about my account, and I agree to pay for any charges which are billed to my account by Beezer International or its employees. I understand that failure to answer questions 4 and 12 invalidate this application. Signature: --------- G-IC2-FIT FILLMORE BETTER BEEZER CARD Application -- yellow middle copy Answer questions 1-20 using the black pen provided. Write ONLY in the shaded areas. Answer questions 1-15 only. PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF (use a #2 pencil only) 1. First Name: 2. Last Name: 3. Today's date (month/year/day) 5. Annual income: 6. Previous City: 7. Previous Address (number, street, city, state, zip): 8. Mailing address: 9. Your intelligence quotient (I.Q.): PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE AND OTHER LIABILITIES (use pen) 1O. Spouse's Name: 11. Age of spouse (years): 13. Spouse's weight (lbs): Explain: 14. Best friend: Age of friend: 14A. Spouse and friend: make love hate me like to polka 15. Check one: Own home Application denied Application denied Application denied 16. Liabilities (check all you rent or lease): Spouse (see question 6) Friends Relatives Cat Lemon zester Dog (Circle one: clean/rather dirty) 17. Third subscriber of co-trustee's mortgage (excluding first part: use more paper if necessary): If true, give reason and describe: PLEASE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. By signing below I hereby authorize Beezer International to alter my credit history and permanent record. 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If you can't answer these questions, don't you think there are things you ought to know? Every month, Popular Paranoia gives you something new to worry about! * What chemical is the international health conspiracy using to destroy our valuable body fat? * How many health fascists are there in the FDA? * What do Ronald Wilson Reagan, Daniel Miguel Ortega, Dwight Eugene Gooden, and Johnny Herman Carson have in common (and are a menace because of it)? * What device is being used to keep track of the whereabouts of American citizens? * Where is the center of communist insurgency in United States? * The existence of which of one of the fifty states of the union is a fiction invented by the Trilateral Commission for its own nefarious purposes? * What left-leaning organization foiled the coup d'état directly after the assassination of John F. Kennedy, leading to decades of crypto-communist government in America? * What is the breeding ground for most major diseases? * How do they learn so much about you? * By what percentage do students who exchange digital watches with multiple partners increase their chances of contracting bubonic plague? * What local government-subsidized program poses the greatest threat to home privacy? * What is Mexico unleashing on the United States for refusing to give them a major league baseball franchise? * What secret FBI surveillance method is masquerading under the guise of public service? * Who is their leader? * What well-meaning legislation was actually a communist-inspired plot to destroy the American family? * How are the dentists of America conspiring to destroy the minds of our children? --------- AT LAST, A MAGAZINE WITH THE PROPER PERSPECTIVE! Aren't you tired of magazines that talk about nothing but good food and friendly neighbors? That portray playgrounds, beaches, and amusement parks as safe, fun entertainment? That brainwash your kids into thinking dentists, doctors, and policemen care about them? That bombard you with advertisements for all kinds of harmful products? That never really tell you what you want and need to know? Now, at last, there's Popular Paranoia, "the eyes in the back of your head." POISON IN YOUR SHOPPING BAG! Watch out! This seemingly harmless shopping bag contains a poisonous array of food and drug items, ranging from rancid mayonnaise to tainted mouthwash. There's only one way to be safe... and that's with home produced foodstuffs. Survivalist Ed Gunkle tells you how... DANGER IN THE SKY These seemingly harmless clouds are a hotbed of poisonous radiation and chemical wastes, waiting to fall on your head and into your drinking water! THEY'RE ON YOUR TRAIL Each time you use an automatic teller machine, you're letting them know exactly where you are, how much money you've made, and how much you've got left. This month, POPULAR PARANOIA gives you an informative rundown on the sinister side of Automatic Teller Machines. DEADLY SAND Chemically treated sand, new jungle gym paint, amusement parks rides that really send them flying. Playgrounds and amusement parks have entertained children for decades, but they've also caused countless deaths and debilitating injuries. Here's a rundown of amusement parks from coast to coast, as well as instructions for make-your-own sand and paint testing kits. REGULAR FEATURES INCLUDE: WHO'S OUT TO GET YOU? You're on the hit list of everyone from food and drug manufacturers to the President of the United States. Learn who to watch out for, and why. ENTERTAINMENT What you do on the weekend could kill you! Did you know that students who exchange digital watches with multiple partners increase their chances of contracting bubonic plague by 300%? Find out how to protect yourself. FOOD You won't be surprised to learn that yogurt is the breeding ground for most major diseases. We'll examine dented cans, unwashed bakery attendants, lima beans, lard, salad bars, and a host of other potential hazards. SURVEILLANCE Government agencies use a veritable army of surveillance methods, many of them masquerading under the guise of public services. We'll tell you how traffic helicopters follow your daily activities, phone taps monitor your conversations, and cable tv threatens your home privacy. MEDICINE Your child's teeth are only inches away from his brain. But have you ever considered what happens each time the dentist gives him a shot of novocaine? We'll show you why it's wrong to trust doctors, medicines, hospitals, and anything else that tries to tamper with your body. YOUR HOME Learn the best protection devices, from automatic weapons to attack dogs. We'll also look into flammable upholstery, insect infestations, microwave ovens, dark corners, radon gas, bats in the attic, and rats in the sewage system. PERSONAL PROBLEMS So you suspect your friends don't like you? You think your mother is paying them off to spend time with you? Are you convinced your fly is open? That you'll be rushed to the emergency ward wearing tattered underwear? That you'll commit a terrible faux pas in front of an important person? Well, it's probably true. AND INFORMATIVE STORIES LIKE THESE EVERY MONTH: HOW DO THEY LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT YOU? When you find your garbage cans overturned and the plastic bags ripped open, you probably think some dog or raccoon has been sniffing out a snack. Well, think again. Your garbage contains personal information ranging from your bank and utilities account numbers to your consumer preferences and private correspondence. We'll teach you how to keep your garbage safe from prying eyes, including a rundown of alarm systems and incineration methods. LETHAL CHEMICALS FROM A TO Z We ingest dozens of chemicals daily in our food, air, water, and personal products. Fluoride mottles our teeth, aspartame destroys valuable body fat, fluorocarbons ravage the ozone layer. This handy tear-out guide will keep you on the alert. AMERICAN GOTHIC A terrifying tour of the 50 states. Are you aware that Ohio is the center of communist insurgency in the United States? Have you discovered that Delaware is a fiction invented by the Trilateral Commission for its own nefarious purposes? You'll learn the facts you need to know to combat the powers seeking to overwhelm you. THE NUMBERS GAME The number of letters in your name reveals more than you imagine. People with 3 letters in their name bring good luck, since luck comes in threes. Those with 6 letters in their first, last, and middle names, such as Ronald Wilson Reagan, Daniel Miguel Ortega, Dwight Eugene Gooden, and Johnny Herman Carson, are a menace to all around them, since 666 is the number of the devil. Learn what your name reveals in this upcoming feature. ROOTING OUT QUEEN MUM An exclusive, behind-the-scenes look at their leader, the fiendish Queen Mum. THE POWERFUL NFL A stunning expose of a powerful leftist organization. Did you know that an NFL game preempted the televised announcement of a coup d'état directly after the Kennedy assassination? The coup was foiled, and decades of crypto-communist government ensued. INSECT WARFARE Mosquitos injected with encephalitis virus, killer bees unleashed by vengeful Mexicanos, black widow eggs hidden in your junk mail. South American insectologist José Santa Fe reveals the secrets of insect warfare and tells you how to protect yourself. THEY'RE ON YOUR TRAIL Automatic Teller Machines are but one method banks use to track and control American citizens. They've made you dependent on them. You can break free! Find out everything you need to know about home safes, full cash purchases, printing your own checks, more. GOODBYE, SONNY The GI Bill gave veterans the chance to go away to college and buy their own homes, without a thought to the parents left behind. Editor Harold Regan examines the ultimate cost of this communist-inspired plot. HEALTH FASCISTS How many health fascists are there in the FDA? If you don't know, you should be reading Popular Paranoia. --------- Popular Paranoia is the only magazine that lets you know how bad things really are. It's informative, thought-provoking, and reliable in a world where nothing else is. Isn't it time you gave yourself "eyes in the back of your head?" Subscribe to Popular Paranoia today at our special LOW introductory rate. Send $33.00 (cash or stamps only) and we'll send you a full year of Popular Paranoia. That's 12 hard-hitting issues at 25% savings off the newsstand price. If you think $33 is a lot of money for a magazine subscription, we'd like you to know we work hard to research, write, and produce Popular Paranoia and deserve every penny we get. Popular Paranoia Charter Reservation Form YES! Please send me the current issue of Popular Paranoia Magazine and enter my one year (12 issues) charter subscription. I enclose $33.00 cash or stamps. I enclose $33.00 cash I enclose 150 22¢ stamps Mailing Name: Mailing Address: City: State: Zip: Send to: Popular Paranoia, Dept QZ-3003, P.O. Box 333, Hoverville, NJ 33030 --------- Page 1 Instruction Manual for Bureaucracy If you've never played Infocom's interactive fiction before, you should read this entire instruction manual. If you're an experienced Infocom game player, you may only want to read Section I: About Bureaucracy. TABLE OF CONTENTS SECTION I: About Bureaucracy -- Page 2 Preface to the Story -- 2 Your Blood Pressure -- 2 Forms -- 2 Questions -- 2 A Note About Mapping -- 2 Some Recognized Verbs -- 3 Sample Transcript and Map -- 3 About the Authors -- 4 SECTION II: About Infocom's Interactive Fiction -- 5 An Overview -- 5 * What is interactive fiction? * Moving around * Turns Starting and Stopping -- 5 * "Booting Up" * Saving and restoring * Quitting and restarting Communicating with Infocom's Interactive Fiction -- 6 * Basic sentences * Complex sentences * Talking to characters in the story * Vocabulary limitations Special Commands -- 7 Tips for Novices -- 8 Eleven useful pointers about interactive fiction Common Complaints -- 9 We're Never Satisfied -- 9 If You Have Technical Problems -- 9 Quick Reference Guide -- 10 This briefly describes the most important things to know about interactive fiction. Copyright and Warranty Information -- 10 --------- Page 2 SECTION I: About Bureaucracy Preface to the Story Once upon a time (not very long ago), a man moved from one apartment in London to another. He dutifully notified everyone of his new address, including his bank; in fact, he went to the bank and filled out a change-of-address form himself. The man was very happy in his new apartment. Then, one day, the man tried to use a credit card but couldn't. He discovered that his bank had invalidated his credit card. Apparently, the bank had sent a new card to his old address. For weeks, the man tried to get the bank to acknowledge his change-of-address form. He talked to many bank officials, and filled out new forms, and tried to get a new credit card issued, but nothing worked. The man had no credit, and the bank behaved like, well, a bank. It's a sad story, one that gets replayed every day for millions of people worldwide. Of course, sometimes it's not a bank at fault: sometimes it's the postal service, or an insurance company, or the telephone company, or an airline, or the Government. But all of us, at one time or another, feel persecuted by a bureaucracy. You begin Bureaucracy in your new house. As per the letter in your package, you will fly to Paris (for business and pleasure) just as soon as you get some money to take you to the airport. That money should be in today's mail, so you should be off soon... unless, of course, there's some problem with the mail. Oh, by the way: The man in our story about the bank was Douglas Adams, the principal author of this game. The bank did finally send him a letter, apologizing for the inconvenience--but they sent it to his old address. Your Blood Pressure On the right-hand side of the status line, you'll see a couple of numbers indicating your blood pressure. You start the game with a healthy blood pressure of 120/80. However, your blood pressure will go up whenever something annoying happens. Conversely, your blood pressure will gradually lower and return to normal if nothing annoying happens for a while. An extremely high blood pressure can be fatal. If you think your blood pressure is getting dangerously high, you should probably do only "safe," non-annoying activities until your blood pressure is normal again. Forms As you play Bureaucracy, you will occasionally be asked to fill out a form on the computer screen (a form is, after all, a highly effective tool for most bureaucracies). Look at the form carefully to see what information you need to supply next, then simply type your answer and press the RETURN (or ENTER) key. Fill out the form truthfully and/or to the best of your ability; failure to do so will surely cause something to go wrong. Questions Every now and then, someone in Bureaucracy will want you to answer a specific question. When this happens, you will see two prompts (> >) instead of the usual one (>) on the command line. You must answer the question(s) to proceed; failure to do so will surely cause something to go wrong, or worse. A Note About Mapping In most text adventures, players are advised to draw a map of the game's geography as they explore its locations. Mapping is a useful and sometimes essential way to learn how to get from one place to another. However, there are two places in Bureaucracy where mapping will not help. One such place is the Airport; like airports in real life, the airport in Bureaucracy is a cartographer's nightmare but a bureaucrat's dream. The other location where mapping is pointless is in the numbered rooms in the Jungle. (Don't ask what numbered rooms are doing in a jungle; just take our word for it that you don't want to map that area.) Players who throw caution to the wind and insist upon mapping the Airport and the Jungle will miss the entire point of those areas. Such players deserve the fate that awaits them. (Everyone else does not deserve the fate that awaits them.) --------- Page 3 Some Recognized Verbs This is only a partial list of the verbs that Bureaucracy understands. There are many more. Some of the verbs listed can be found in all Infocom stories; others are included especially for Bureaucracy. Remember you can use a variety of prepositions with some verbs. (For example, LOOK can become LOOK INSIDE, LOOK BEHIND, LOOK UNDER, LOOK THROUGH, LOOK AT and so on.) CALL EXAMINE PRESS TAKE CLIMB GIVE PULL THROW CONNECT KNOCK PUSH TIE CUT LOOK PUT TOUCH DRINK OFFER RAISE TRADE DROP OPEN READ UNLOCK EAT PLUG RING ENTER POUR SHOW Sample Transcript and Map This transcript is not from Bureaucracy, but it does show many of the typical commands you might use in the story. It contains some simple puzzles and their solutions, and it will give you a good idea of how Infocom's interactive fiction works. The player's commands appear in capital letters after each prompt (>). The map represents the terrain in the sample transcript as you might have drawn it. [sample map not included] Front Porch You're standing outside the closed front door to your house. The street runs east and west, and a path leads northwest around the side of the house. >OPEN THE DOOR The door is locked. >INVENTORY You are empty-handed. In your pocket is a wallet. A mailman appears by your side, pulls an envelope from his bag, looks at it, and knocks on the door. >TAKE THE ENVELOPE FROM THE MAILMAN The mailman pulls the envelope out of your reach. "I'm supposed to deliver this to the resident of this house. Do you live here?" > >YES "Well, then, I wish you would hurry up and answer the front door." He knocks again on the door, a little more impatiently. >NORTHWEST Side of House You are standing by the side of your house. A large closed window overlooks a path which leads southeast toward the front of the house. >OPEN THE WINDOW The window slides open. >CLIMB IN Inside the House You are standing inside an unusually small house. On the west wall is a large open window, to the south is a closed front door, and to the east is a closed closet door. Someone knocks impatiently at the front door. >OPEN THE DOOR [Which door do you mean, the closet door or the front door?] >FRONT The mailman registers no surprise when you open the door. "One dollar postage due," he yawns. [Your blood pressure just went up.] >TAKE THE WALLET Taken. >LOOK IN IT Your wallet contains a driver's license and $1. >GIVE $1 TO THE MAILMAN [taking the $1 from your wallet first] The mailman stuffs the money into his pocket, hands you the envelope, and disappears down the street. >LOOK AT THE ENVELOPE The envelope is large and yellow and addressed to you. The return address says "Sweepstakes, Acme Building," and the post office has scrawled on the envelope "$1 postage due." >OPEN IT Opening the envelope reveals a letter. >READ THE LETTER "Dear Occupant: You have already won $5,000.00!! Simply bring this letter to our headquarters and collect your cash prize! Congratulations!" [You're feeling better now.] >GO TO THE ACME BUILDING That's too far away to walk. >OPEN THE CLOSET DOOR The closet door is now open. >GO IN THE CLOSET Closet This closet is as small as a walk-in closet can be. An open door leads west. On the floor is a book. >TAKE THE BOOK Taken. >LOOK AT IT The book is entitled "How to Hug." You borrowed this book with great embarrassment from the library yesterday, hoping to pick up some pointers for your next date (heaven knows when that would be). Unfortunately, only after you got home did you realize this book was volume 26 of "The Pocket Encyclopedia to Words of Three Letters." Inside the book is a library card. >W.S Inside the House Front Porch >W Path A phone booth stands sentry on this path. Inside the phone booth you see a phone. The road runs east and west. >IN Phone Booth This is just about the cleanest phone booth you've ever seen. The only imperfection is a sticker on the phone. >LOOK AT THE STICKET [The word "sticket" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use] >OOPS STICKER "Acme Cab Company. We take you where you deserve to go. 555-7302." >CALL 555-7302 This is a pay phone, and you don't have any money. >OUT Path >GO WEST Outside the Bank Acme Bank can be entered to the north. The street runs east and west. >ENTER THE BANK Inside the Bank Acme Bank is not much larger than the phone booth. (In fact, almost everything made by the giant Acme Corporation is about the same size. While this saves them lots of money, few women are willing to wear Acme's phone-booth-sized earrings.) A teller behind an iron-barred window looks at you and asks, "Do you wish to make a deposit?" > >NO The teller asks, "Do you wish to cash a check?" > >NO The teller asks, "Do you wish to make a withdrawal?" > >YES The teller gives you a form. "Fill this out, please." >FILL OUT THE FORM Amount of withdrawal: > $20 Shoe size: > 8 The form is now complete. >GIVE THE FORM TO THE TELLER The teller takes the form and reads it, then looks at your feet. "May I see some ID, please," drones the teller. >I You are carrying a wallet, an envelope, a book, and a letter. Inside the wallet you see a driver's license. Inside the book you see a library card. >GIVE THE DRIVER'S LICENSE TO THE TELLER The teller laboriously studies your driver's license. Then she says, "Do you have a library card?" > >YES The teller asks, "Do you have it with you?" > >YES "Let me see your library card," demands the teller. >GIVE THE LIBRARY CARD TO THE TELLER [taking it from the book first] The teller looks at the library card with disappointment. Then she gives you your driver's license and your library card and hands you $20. Finally she says "Have a nice day." This last comment almost kills her. >GO TO THE PHONE BOOTH Phone Booth There is a sticker here. >READ THE STICKER "Acme Cab Company. We take you where you deserve to go. 555-7302." >CALL 555-7302 You put 10 cents into the phone and dial. An electronic voice comes on and says, "That will be $2 for the next 30 seconds." >PUT $2 IN THE SLOT "Thank you," says the electronic voice. The number you called rings once. Someone answers the phone and says "Please hold." You hear a click, then the dreaded silence of Hold. >WAIT Time passes... >WAIT Time passes... An electronic voice comes on and says, "That will be $2 for the next 30 seconds." [Your blood pressure just went up.] >PUT $2 IN THE SLOT "Thank you," says the electronic voice. >Z Time passes... A voice gets on the phone. "Acme Cab Company. Where do you want to go?" > >ACME BUILDING "Acme Building, right. Listen, we got a cab going to the Acme Bank. You anywhere near that?" > >YES "Okay, that cab will take you to the Acme Building." Then you hear the phone on the other end hang up. [You're feeling better now.] >OUT. WEST Path Outside the Bank >WAIT FOR CAB Time passes... A cab pulls up next to you. The driver leans out the window and shouts to you, "You going to the Acme Building?" > >YES "Well, get in!" The driver opens the door for you. >GET IN THE CAB As soon as you have one foot in the cab, the driver guns the engine. You are thrown into the back seat, the door closes on your fingers, and you have a nauseating ride to the Acme Building. You turn several shades of green and almost get very sick. Just when you're seriously considering jumping out of the cab and ending it all, the cab stops, the driver pours you out of the cab, and says, "That'll be $10." >GIVE $10 TO THE DRIVER The driver takes the money from you and speeds away. Outside the Acme Building The green and pink exterior of the Acme Building, which is in the middle of nowhere, lurks before you. A landmark of bad taste, the building has been featured in "Architectural Digest" under the headline "Wrong." The building can be entered through a door to the north. >NORTH Lobby You are standing in the lobby of the Acme Building. Hallways lead north, west, and east, and a door lies south. A receptionist sits behind a desk, reading a newspaper. >GIVE THE LETTER TO THE RECEPTIONIST The receptionist looks at you with a mixture of disgust and pity. "To collect your prize, all you have to do is sit through a short promotional film we've produced." She hands you a ticket. "Just go to the auditorium, to the north." >LOOK AT THE TICKET "Ticket number 69105. Seat 25F. Acme Building Auditorium." >N Hallway This hallway stretches north and south. To the west is a closed door marked "Auditorium." >WEST The door is closed. >OPEN THE DOOR The door is now open. >W Auditorium Aisle 15 The lights are off in the auditorium, but from the light reflecting off the giant screen, you can tell that many people are sitting in the seats. >GO TO SEAT 25F You stumble your way through the dark aisles, step on lots of people's feet, and find your seat. Seat 25F Like all the seats in this auditorium, you have a painfully clear view of the screen. Fortunately for you, this sample transcript is ending, so you don't have to suffer through the inane promotional film produced by the Acme Company. --------- Page 4 About the Authors Douglas Adams graduated from Cambridge in 1974, where he was an active member of the Footlights Club, which has launched the careers of many of Britain's great comics. He has collaborated on several projects with Monty Python's Graham Chapman, and has served as a writer and script editor for the TV Series "Dr. Who." In 1978 he wrote the radio serial The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and its popularity soon propelled it into a four-book trilogy, a television series, two records, a stage show, an Infocom computer game, and maybe a film. Bureaucracy is Adams's doomed attempt to have the last laugh on bureaucracies everywhere. Original Implementer W.E.B. "Fred" Morgan was dragged out of an early retirement (spent developing new strains of Scotch) to collaborate on Bureaucracy. A prolific hacker, Fred worked on ZIL, the implementation language for Infocom games; Muddle, the implementation language for ZIL; and Zork I, Zork II, Zork III, Enchanter, Deadline, Wishbringer, Ballyhoo, Trinity, Cutthroats, and the sampler. Fred also helped develop Infocom's database manager, Cornerstone. After Bureaucracy, Fred plans to re-retire, and begin work on a hooked rug, roughly the size of Delaware, representing the Great Underground Empire. --------- Page 5 SECTION II: About Infocom's Interactive Fiction An Overview Interactive fiction is a story in which you are the main character. Your own thinking and imagination determine the actions of that character and guide the story from start to finish. Each work of interactive fiction, such as Bureaucracy, presents you with a series of locations, items, characters, and events. You can move from place to place, use the objects you find, and interact with the other characters, to affect the outcome of the story. An important element of interactive fiction is puzzle-solving. You should think of a locked door or ferocious animal not as a permanent obstacle, but merely as a puzzle to be tackled. Solving puzzles will frequently involve bringing a certain item with you, and then using it in the proper way. In Bureaucracy, time passes only in response to your input. You might imagine a clock that ticks once for each sentence you type, and the story progresses only at each click. Nothing happens until you type a sentence and press the RETURN (or ENTER) key, so you can plan your turns as slowly and carefully as you want. Starting and Stopping Starting the story: To load Bureaucracy, follow the instructions on the Reference Card in your package. Because we do strange things to the disks (nothing satanic), owners of IBM (and compatible) computers, as well as all other computer owners, should follow the instructions on the Reference Card carefully. After a brief introduction to the story, you'll see a description of the Front Room, the opening location. Then the prompt (>) will appear, indicating that Bureaucracy is waiting for your first command. Here's a quick exercise to help you get accustomed to interacting with Bureaucracy. Try the following command first: > GO WEST Then press the RETURN (or ENTER) key. Bureaucracy will respond with a description of the Back Hall and the items in the room, including a passport. Then try: > LOOK AT THE PASSPORT After you press the RETURN (or ENTER) key, Bureaucracy will respond: You flip open your passport, glance to make sure your French visa is still readable, shudder at the picture and close the book. Now you decide what to do next. Saving and restoring: It will probably take you many days to complete Bureaucracy. Using the SAVE feature, you can continue the story at a later time without having to start over from the beginning, just as you can place a bookmark in a book you are reading. SAVE puts a "snapshot" of your place in the story onto another disk. You should also save your place before (or after) trying something dangerous or tricky. That way, even if you get lost or "killed" in the story, you can return to your saved position. To save your place in the story, type SAVE at the prompt (>), and then press the RETURN (or ENTER) key. Then follow the instructions for saving and restoring on your Reference Card. Some computers require a blank disk, initialized and formatted, for saves. Using a disk with data on it (not counting other Bureaucracy saves) may result in the loss of that data, depending on your computer. You can save your position as often as you like by using additional blank disks. You can restore a saved position any time you want. To do so, type RESTORE at the prompt (>), and press the RETURN (or ENTER) key. Then follow the instructions on your Reference Card. You can then continue the story from the point where you used the SAVE command. You can type LOOK for a description of where you are. Quitting and restarting: If you want to start over from the beginning, type RESTART and press the RETURN (or ENTER) key. (This is usually faster than re-booting.) Just to make sure, Bureaucracy will ask if you really want to start over. If you do, type Y or YES and press the RETURN (or ENTER) key. If you want to stop entirely, type QUIT and press the RETURN (or ENTER) key. Once again, Bureaucracy will ask you if this is really what you want to do. Remember when you RESTART or QUIT: if you want to be able to return to your current position, you must first use the SAVE command. --------- Page 6 Communicating with Infocom's Interactive Fiction In Bureaucracy, you type your commands in plain English each time you see the prompt (>). Bureaucracy usually acts as if your commands begin with "I want to...," although you shouldn't actually type those words. You can use words like THE if you want, and you can use capital letters if you want; Bureaucracy doesn't care either way. When you have finished typing a command, press the RETURN (or ENTER) key. Bureaucracy will then respond, telling you whether your request is possible at this point in the story, and what happened as a result. Bureaucracy recognizes your words by their first nine letters, and all subsequent letters are ignored. Therefore, DEMONSTRAtion, DEMONSTRAtive, and DEMONSTRAtor would all be treated as the same word by Bureaucracy. To move around, just type the direction you want to go. Directions can be abbreviated: NORTH to N, SOUTH to S, EAST to E, WEST to W, UP to U, and DOWN to D. Note that IN and OUT will also work in certain places. In some places, you can just type GO TO [a location]; for instance, on the airplane, you can type GO TO SEAT 6A or GO TO THE LAVATORY. Bureaucracy understands many different kinds of sentences. Here are several examples. (Note some of these objects do not actually appear in Bureaucracy.) > WALK NORTH > DOWN > GO UP > TAKE THE RED CANDLE > READ THE SIGN > LOOK UNDER THE BED > LIGHT THE CIGAR > TURN THE DIAL > EXAMINE THE LARGE RED MACHINE > PUSH THE BLACK BUTTON > DIG IN THE GROUND > PUT THE STICK IN THE HOLE > GIVE THE FLY TO THE FROG > LOOK INSIDE THE CAGE > CALL 555-1212 > GO TO SEAT 7C You can use multiple objects with certain verbs if you separate them by the word AND or by a comma. Some examples: > TAKE BOOK AND KNIFE > DROP THE YELLOW BALL, THE SPOTTED FROG, AND THE PEANUT > PUT THE LADYBUG AND THE SPIDER IN THE JAR You can include several sentences on one input line if you separate them by the word THEN or by a period. (Note that each sentence will still count as a turn.) You don't need a period at the end of the input line. For example, you could type all of the following at once, before pressing the RETURN (or ENTER) key: > READ THE SIGN. GO NORTH THEN TAKE THE CROWBAR AND MALLET If Bureaucracy doesn't understand one of the sentences on your input line, or if something unusual happens, it will ignore the rest of your input line (see "Common Complaints" on page 9). The words IT and ALL can be very useful. For example: > TAKE THE APPLE. POLISH IT. PUT IT IN THE BOX > CLOSE THE HEAVY METAL DOOR. LOCK IT > TAKE THE SHOE. EMPTY IT. PUT IT ON > TAKE ALL > TAKE ALL EXCEPT THE WET EGG AND THE KEY > TAKE ALL FROM CABINET > DROP ALL BUT THE PENCIL The word ALL refers to every visible object except those inside something else. If there were an apple on the ground and an orange inside a cabinet, TAKE ALL would take the apple but not the orange. You can use quotes to say something out loud. For example: > SAY "HELLO" > SAY "TOTO, I DON'T THINK WE'RE IN KANSAS ANYMORE" In many Infocom stories, you will meet other characters as you play. You can "talk" to some of them by typing their name, then a comma, then whatever you want to say to them. Here are some examples: > LOIS, HELLO > OLD WOMAN, GIVE ME A BOWLING BALL > SALESMAN, TELL ME ABOUT THE PLATYPUS [or ASK THE SALESMAN ABOUT THE PLATYPUS] > HANDSOME FELLOW, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WIFE [or ASK THE HANDSOME FELLOW ABOUT HIS WIFE] > YOUNG WOMAN, PUT ON THE GLOVE THEN THROW THE BALL > HARRY, TAKE THE GUN. SHOOT THE PENGUIN Notice that in the last two examples, you are giving a person more than one command on the same input line. But remember: Most people don't care for idle chatter. Your deeds will speak louder than your words. Bureaucracy tries to guess what you really mean when you don't give enough information. For example, if you say that you want to do something, but not what you want to do it to or with, Bureaucracy will sometimes decide that there is only one possible object you could mean. When it does so, it will tell you. For example: > UNLOCK THE DOOR (with the key) The door is now unlocked. If your command is ambiguous, Bureaucracy will ask what you really mean. You can answer most of these questions briefly by supplying the missing information, rather than typing the entire input again. You can do this only at the very next prompt. For example: > CUT THE ROPE What do you want to cut the rope with? > THE KNIFE As you cut the rope, you hear a loud crash in the tent. or > TAKE THE BUTTERFLY Which butterfly do you mean, the delicate magenta butterfly, or the fat yellow butterfly? > DELICATE The delicate magenta butterfly flutters away as you reach for it. Bureaucracy recognizes over 1000 words, nearly all that you are likely to use in your commands. However, Bureaucracy uses many words in its descriptions that it will not recognize in your commands. For example, you might read, "The full moon is bright and clear, and the apple trees cast eerie shadows." If Bureaucracy doesn't recognize the words MOON or SHADOWS in your input, you can assume they are not important to your completion of the story, except to provide you with a more vivid description of where you are or what is going on. --------- Page 7 Special Commands There are a number of commands which have special meanings. You can use them over and over as needed. Some count as a turn, others do not. Type the command after the prompt (>) and hit the RETURN (or ENTER) key. AGAIN--Bureaucracy will respond as if you had repeated your previous command. For instance, typing CALL THE POLICE then typing AGAIN would be like calling the police twice in a row. You can abbreviate AGAIN to G. BRIEF--This command tells Bureaucracy to give you the full description of a location only the first time you enter it. On subsequent visits, Bureaucracy will tell you only the name of the location and the objects present. This is how Bureaucracy will normally act, unless you tell it otherwise using the VERBOSE or SUPERBRIEF commands. The SUPERBRIEF command tells Bureaucracy to display only the name of a place you have entered, even if you have never been there before. In this mode, Bureaucracy will not even mention which objects are present. Of course, you can always get a description of your location and the items there, by typing LOOK. In SUPERBRIEF mode, the blank line between turns will be eliminated. This mode is meant for players who are already very familiar with the geography. The VERBOSE command tells Bureaucracy that you want a complete description of each location, and the objects in it, every time you enter a location, even if you've been there before. INVENTORY--Bureaucracy will list what you are carrying. You can abbreviate INVENTORY to I. LOOK--This tells Bureaucracy to describe your location in full detail. You can abbreviate LOOK to L. OOPS--If you accidentally mistype a word, such that Bureaucracy doesn't understand the word, you can correct yourself on the next line by typing OOPS and the correct word. Suppose, for example, you typed PUT THE LETTER INTO THE NAILBOX and were told "[The word 'nailbox' isn't in the vocabulary that you can use.]" You could type OOPS MAILBOX rather than retyping the entire sentence. QUIT--This lets you stop. If you want to save your position before quitting, follow the instructions in the "Starting and Stopping" section on page 5. You can abbreviate QUIT to Q. RESTART--This stops the story and starts it over from the beginning. RESTORE--This restores a position made using the SAVE command. See "Starting and Stopping" on page 5 for more details. SAVE--This puts a "snapshot" of your current position onto a storage disk. You can return to a saved position in the future using the RESTORE command. See "Starting and Stopping" on page 5 for more details. SCORE--Bureaucracy will show your current score. SCRIPT--This command tells your printer to begin making a transcript of the story as you venture onwards. A transcript may aid your memory but is not necessary. It will work only on certain computers; read your Reference Card for details. SUPERBRIEF--See BRIEF above. TIME--This gives you the current time of day in the story. You can abbreviate TIME to T. UNSCRIPT--This commands your printer to stop making a transcript. VERBOSE--See BRIEF above. VERSION--Bureaucracy responds by showing you the release number and the serial number of your copy of the story. Please include this information if you ever report a "bug" in the story. WAIT--This will cause time in the story to pass. Normally, between turns, nothing happens in the story. You could leave your computer, take a nap, and return to the story to find that nothing has changed. You can use WAIT to make time pass in the story without doing anything. For example, you can wait for a specific time, or wait for an event to happen, etc. You can abbreviate WAIT to Z. --------- Page 8 Tips for Novices 1. Draw a map. It should include each location and the directions connecting it to adjoining locations. When you find yourself in a new location, make a note of any interesting objects there. (See the small sample map that goes along with the sample transcript on page 3.) However, don't draw a map of the Airport or the Jungle in Bureaucracy; see "A Note About Mapping" on page 2. 2. EXAMINE all objects you come across in the story. 3. TAKE all objects you come across in the story. Most objects that you can pick up are important for solving one or more of the puzzles you'll run into. 4. Save your place often. That way, if you mess up or get "killed," you won't have to start over from the beginning. See page 5 for instructions. 5. Read the story carefully! There are often clues in the descriptions of locations and objects. 6. Try everything you can think of--even strange or dangerous actions may provide clues, and might prove to be fun! You can always save your position first if you want. Here's a silly example: > GIVE THE ROLLER SKATES TO THE VULTURE The vulture attempts to eat the roller skates, but eventually gives up. It continues to peck you on the head. Here you have a clue that maybe giving something edible to the vulture (some raw meat?) would be better. 7. Unlike other "adventure games" you may have played, there are many possible routes to the end of Bureaucracy. If you get stuck on one puzzle, move on to another. Some puzzles have more than one solution; other puzzles don't need to be solved at all. Sometimes you will have to solve one puzzle in order to obtain the item(s) or information you need to solve another puzzle. 8. You may find it helpful to go through Bureaucracy with another person. Different people may find different puzzles easy and can often complement each other. 9. If you really have difficulty, you can order a hint booklet and a complete map using the order form in your package. You don't need this booklet to enjoy the story, but it will make solving the puzzles easier. 10. Read the sample transcript on page 3 to get a feel for how Infocom's interactive fiction works. 11. You can word a command in many different ways. For example, if you wanted to pick up a yellow hoop, you could type in any of the following: > GET HOOP > TAKE THE HOOP > PICK UP THE YELLOW HOOP If you type in a command that Bureaucracy doesn't understand, try rephrasing the command or using synonyms. If Bureaucracy still doesn't understand your command, you are almost certainly trying something that is not important in continuing your adventure. --------- Page 9 Common Complaints Bureaucracy will complain if you type a command that confuses it completely. Bureaucracy will then ignore the rest of the input line. (Unusual events, such as being attacked, may also cause Bureaucracy to ignore the rest of your command, since the event may have changed your situation drastically.) Some of Bureaucracy's complaints: The word "_________" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use. The word you typed is not in the story's vocabulary. Sometimes using a synonym or rephrasing will help. If not, Bureaucracy probably doesn't know the idea you were trying to get across. The story can't understand the word "________" when you use it that way. Bureaucracy knows the word you typed, but couldn't use it in that sense. Usually this is because Bureaucracy knows the word as a different part of speech. For example, if you typed PRESS THE LOWER BUTTON, you are using LOWER as an adjective, but Bureaucracy might know LOWER only as a verb, as in LOWER THE FLAG. There aren't any verbs in that sentence. Unless you are answering a question, each sentence must have a verb (or one of the special commands). There aren't enough nouns in that sentence. This usually means your sentence was incomplete, such as EAT THE BLUE or PUT THE BOOK IN THE. There are too many nouns in that sentence. An example is PUT THE SOUP IN THE BOWL WITH THE LADLE, which has three noun "phrases," one more than Bureaucracy can digest in a single action. What? You pressed the RETURN (or ENTER) key without typing anything. You can't see any _________ here. The object you referred to was not accessible to you. It may be somewhere else, inside a closed container, and so on. You can't refer to more than one object at a time with "_________". You can use multiple objects (that is, nouns or noun phrases separated by AND or a comma) or the word ALL only with certain verbs. Among the more useful of these verbs are TAKE, DROP, and PUT. An example of a verb that will not work with multiple objects is EXAMINE; you couldn't say EXAMINE ALL or EXAMINE THE BOWL AND THE SWORD. Please try to express that another way. The sentence you typed may have been gibberish, such as TAKE ROPE WITH READ. Or you may have typed a reasonable sentence but used a syntax that Bureaucracy does not recognize, such as WAVE OVER THE MOUNTAIN. Try rephrasing the sentence. We're Never Satisfied Here at Infocom, we take great pride in the quality of our stories. Even after they're "out the door," we're constantly improving, honing, and perfecting them. Your input is important. No matter how much testing we do, it seems some "bugs" never crawl into view until thousands of you begin doing all those wild and crazy things to the story. If you find a bug, or if you think a certain puzzle was too hard or too easy, or if you have some other suggestion, or if you'd just like to tell us your opinion of the story, drop us a note! We love every excuse to stop working, and a letter from you is just such an excuse! Write to: Infocom, Inc. 125 CambridgePark Drive Cambridge, MA 02140 Attn: Head Teller If You Have Technical Problems You can call the Infocom Technical Support Team to report "bugs" and technical problems, but not for hints to solve puzzles, at (617) 576-3190. If your disk develops a problem within ninety (90) days after purchase, we will replace it at no charge. Otherwise, there is a replacement fee of $5 (U.S. currency). If you call to report a bug, please provide your release number, which you can find by typing VERSION. Please return your registration card if you'd like to be on our mailing list and receive our newsletter. --------- Page 10 Quick Reference Guide 1. To start the story ("boot up"), see the separate Reference Card in your Bureaucracy package. Since we do strange things to our disks (nothing satanic), you probably won't be able to figure out what to do unless you read the Reference Card. 2. When you see the prompt (>) on your screen, Bureaucracy is waiting for your input. There are four kinds of sentences or commands that Bureaucracy understands: A. Direction commands: To move from place to place just type the direction you want to go: NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, WEST, UP, DOWN, IN, or OUT. B. Actions: Just type whatever you want to do. Some examples: READ THE BOOK or OPEN THE DOOR or LOOK THROUGH THE WINDOW or GIVE THE BALL TO THE CAT. Once you're familiar with simple commands, you'll want to use more complex ones as described on page 6. C. Spoken commands: To talk to characters in the story, type their name, then a comma, then what you want to say to them. For example: JANE, GIVE ME THE AXE or OLD MAN, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SHOES. To say something "out loud," use quotes. For example: SAY "HOWDY" or SAY "LONG LIVE THE QUEEN." D. Special commands: Some commands, such as INVENTORY or VERBOSE, give you specific information or affect your output. A list of these appears on page 7. Whenever you see two prompts (> >) on the screen, then someone has just asked you a question which you must answer before you can proceed in the story. 3. After typing your sentence or command, you must press the RETURN (or ENTER) key before Bureaucracy will respond. 4. You can pick up and carry many of the items you'll find in the story. For example, if you type TAKE THE FLASK, you will be carrying it. Type INVENTORY to see a list of the items you are carrying. 5. When you want to stop, save your place for later, or start over, read the "Starting and Stopping" section on page 5. 6. If you have trouble, refer to the specific section of the manual for more detailed instructions. Copyright and Warranty Information Limited Warranty This software product and the attached instructional materials are sold "AS IS," without warranty as to their performance. The entire risk as to the quality and performance of the computer software program is assumed by the user. However, to the original purchaser of a disk prepared by Infocom and carrying the Infocom label on the disk jacket, Infocom, Inc. warrants the medium on which the program is recorded to be free from defects in materials and faulty workmanship under normal use and service for a period of ninety (90) days from the date of purchase. If during this period a defect on the medium should occur, the medium may be returned to Infocom, Inc. or to an authorized Infocom, Inc. dealer, and Infocom, Inc. will replace the medium without charge to you. Your sole and exclusive remedy in the event of a defect is expressly limited to replacement of the medium as provided above. This warranty gives you specific legal rights and you may also have other rights which vary from state to state. THE ABOVE WARRANTIES FOR GOODS ARE IN LIEU OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS, IMPLIED, OR STATUTORY, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND OF ANY OTHER WARRANTY OBLIGATION ON THE PART OF INFOCOM, INC. SOME STATES DO NOT ALLOW LIMITATIONS ON HOW LONG AN IMPLIED WARRANTY LASTS, SO THE ABOVE LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. IN NO EVENT SHALL INFOCOM, INC. OR ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN THE CREATION AND PRODUCTION OF THIS COMPUTER SOFTWARE PROGRAM BE LIABLE FOR SUCH INDIRECT, SPECIAL, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, SUCH AS, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, LOSS OF ANTICIPATED PROFITS OR BENEFITS RESULTING FROM THE USE OF THIS PROGRAM, OR ARISING OUT OF ANY BREACH OF THIS WARRANTY. SOME STATES DO NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, SO THE ABOVE LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. N.B. After the warranty period, a defective Infocom disk may be returned to Infocom, Inc. with a check or money order for $5.00 (U.S. funds) for replacement. Copyright The enclosed software product is copyrighted and all rights are reserved by Infocom, Inc. It is published exclusively by Infocom, Inc. The distribution and sale of this product are intended for the use of the original purchaser only and for use only on the computer system specified. Lawful users of this program are hereby licensed only to read the program from its medium into memory of a computer solely for the purpose of executing the program. Copying (except for one backup copy on those systems which provide for it--see Reference Card), duplicating, selling, or otherwise distributing this product is a violation of the law. This manual and all other documentation contained herein are copyrighted and all rights are reserved by Infocom, Inc. These documents may not, in whole or in part, be copied, photocopied, reproduced, translated, or reduced to any electronic medium or machine-readable form without prior consent, in writing, from Infocom, Inc. Willful violations of the Copyright Law of the United States can result in civil damages of up to $50,000 in addition to actual damages, plus criminal penalties of up to one year imprisonment and/or $10,000 fine. Bureaucracy, Ballyhoo and Trinity are trademarks of Infocom, Inc. Zork, Enchanter, Deadline, Infidel, Cutthroats, and Wishbringer are registered trademarks of Infocom, Inc. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a trademark of Douglas Adams. © 1987 Infocom, Inc. Printed in U.S.A. © 2001 Activision, Inc. Reproduced with permission. All right reserved.